Funny Articles   

 

HOW TO KEEP WACKINESS ALIVE IN THE WORKPLACE

 

1. Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting
for your document.
2. Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch
and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting.   During the meeting eat 5
entire raw potatoes. As often as possible, skip rather then walk into the meetings late
3. Insist that your e-mail address be "zena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com"
or Elvis-the-King@companyname.com
4. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.
5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them to sign a waiver.
6. Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate about the
direction of one of your company's products.   Forward the email to a co-worker
and ask them to settle the disagreement.
7. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
8. Name all your pens and insist that meetings can't begin until they're all present.
9. Come to work in your pajamas.
10. Put a picture of your mother on your business card.
11. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them
one day after your boss does.
12. Make up nicknames for all your co-workers and refer to them only by these names.
"That's a good point Sparky."   "No I'm sorry I'm going to have to disagree with
you there Chachi."
13. Suggest that beer be put in the soda machine.
14. Include a piece of your childrens artwork as a cover page to all your  reports that
you write.
15. Schedule meetings for 4.14pm.
16. Encourage your colleages to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing.
17. Agree to organize the company Christmas Party.   Hold it at MacDonalds Playland.
Charge everyone $15 each.
18. Send an email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing.
For example, "If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathroom."
19. No matter what anyone asks you, reply, "Okay." or
Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
20. Put your garbage can on your desk.  Label it "IN."
21. Plant a hedge around your cubicle.
22. Grow mold in your coffee cup.
23. Build models of the Seven Wonders of the World using empty soda cans.
24. Put on your headphonmes whenever the boss comes into the office.
Talk in a loud voice.  Remove your headphones when he/she leaves.
25. When in conversation, no matter where you are in the office, mutter, "I think my
phone is ringing" and leave.  Go get a coffee.
26. Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."
27. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
28. Compose all of your email in rhyming couplets.
29. Install a set of buttons and lights in the arm of your chair.  Talk into your daytimer.
30. "Hi-lite" your shoes.  Tell people you haven't lost them since you did this.
31. Organize a carpool.  Go to pick everyone up in a taxi.
32. When you go to a party at somebody elses house, don't automatically assume
that the drinks are free.  Ask, and often ask.
33. Hang mistletoe over your desk.
34. Include a personal note on every email you send.   "On a personal note, I'm feeling a
bit tired and grumpy today."  "On a personal note, I'm pleased to announce I got my highest score on Tetris ever last night."
35. Bring in dishes that you tried to cook but didn't turn out quite right as special treats
for your co-workers.
36. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle and play a tape of jungle sounds
37. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
38. At lunch-time, sit in a parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
39. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
40. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
41. Go to a poetry recital and often ask why the poems don't rhyme.
42. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
43. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!? I Won! 3rd time this week!!!"
44. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling, "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
45. Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."